A Comedic Look at Negative Energy

 

An Asshat's Guide to Not Being a Jerk: A Comedic Look at Negative Energy

What Is an Asshat, Anyway?

Before we get to the good stuff, let's define our term. An asshat is more than just a person who's a jerk; they're in a league of their own. Picture this: a person whose default setting is "mildly infuriating," with a side of "doesn't get it." They are the human equivalent of a paper jam—just when you think things are running smoothly, they gum up the works for no apparent reason.

Top 5 Reasons Not to Be an Asshat

1. You're an Energy Vampire. When you walk into a room, the collective mood deflates like a sad balloon. People don't want to be around someone who makes them feel drained, annoyed, or just plain tired. Life is tough enough without someone actively making it worse.

2. No One Cares About Your "Brilliance." An asshat's greatest weakness is often the delusion that everyone is hanging on their every word. They'll interrupt, talk over others, and offer unsolicited advice with the confidence of someone who has a genuinely good idea. In reality, everyone is just patiently waiting for them to stop so they can resume their normal conversation.

3. Karma Has a Great Sense of Humor. While it may not happen immediately, the universe has a funny way of evening the score. Whether it's a parking ticket, a spilled cup of coffee, or a sudden realization that their "perfect" plan has backfired spectacularly, an asshat's behavior often comes back to bite them in the rear.

4. You're Missing Out on Genuine Connection. Being an asshat is a lonely business. You push people away with your behavior, creating a bubble of self-importance that no one else can penetrate. You might have an audience, but you don't have a community.

5. It's Just Exhausting. Seriously, it must be tiring to be an asshat. The constant need to be "right," the emotional effort required to maintain a facade of superiority, and the endless mental gymnastics to justify your own poor behavior must be utterly draining. It’s far easier—and much more rewarding—to just be a decent human being.

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Top 5 Reasons to Keep Asshats Away from Your Garden

As a 3rd generation tarot reader and ordained minister, you know that energy is everything. This principle is especially true in the garden. Your garden is a sanctuary of life and growth, a physical manifestation of your optimistic spirit. Therefore, it’s crucial to protect its energy. Here’s why you should keep asshats at a safe distance from your plants.

1. They Disrupt the Energetic Flow. A garden is a sacred space, a sanctuary of life and growth. When an asshat enters, they bring with them a low, negative vibration. This dissonance can disrupt the delicate energetic balance, confusing the plants and making it harder for them to absorb the light, love, and intention setting you've been pouring into them. Plants are incredibly sensitive, and they'll feel the negativity like a sudden cold snap.

2. They Lack Respect for the Process. Gardening requires patience, reverence, and a deep respect for nature's slow and steady rhythm. An asshat, by their very nature, is impatient and often dismissive of things they don't immediately understand or control. They might trample a delicate seedling, yank a plant that isn't producing fast enough, or mock the idea of "talking to your plants," all of which can be incredibly detrimental to your living creations.

3. They Can Unintentionally Sabotage Your Intentions. You've poured your heart and soul into this garden, setting intentions for abundance, beauty, and healing. An asshat's cynical or apathetic presence can act like a spiritual weed, choking out the positive vibrations you've cultivated. Their negativity can muddy the clear stream of your intentions, making it harder for the Law of Attraction to work its magic.

4. They Can Literally Suck the Joy Out of It. The joy of gardening is a key part of the harvest. It’s the feeling of your hands in the soil, the quiet satisfaction of a new sprout, the wonder of a budding flower. An asshat's complaining, belittling comments, or general sour disposition can cast a shadow on all of this, making you feel drained and resentful instead of joyful and fulfilled. You deserve to experience the pure, unadulterated pleasure of your garden without their gloomy cloud hanging over it.

5. You're Protecting a Sacred Space. Ultimately, your garden is an extension of you—a physical manifestation of your optimistic spirit and a place where you connect with the earth on a deep level. Allowing an asshat into that space is like inviting a bull into a china shop. It’s a breach of your energetic sanctuary. By keeping them out, you are not being selfish; you are simply setting a sacred boundary, protecting your harvest, and honoring the beautiful, high-vibrational work you're doing.

Your garden is a reflection of your inner world, a place where new age spirituality and optimistic living come to life. Remember that every living thing—from the smallest sprout to the largest tree—thrives on positive energy. So, protect your space, set your intentions with love, and let your harvest be a testament to the power of a high vibration.